[Fairweather Friends] [2003-04-15 @ 3:28 p.m.]

Ok.Something has just occurred to me.I mean I have had this feeling off and on since December/January...I am realizing that some that I consider to be my friends....Are totally fairweather.Maybe its me,perhaps I am a total cunt and I don't even realize it.Would someone please point it out to me? Granted I am not the nicest person all the time.But at least I am real...and I do NOT bullshit people.If I don't like you...I won't talk to you.It does not mean I will pretend to be a friend.I will definitely be nice and cordial to people for my friends' sake...That is just proper manners.

But here is what I don't get...I know some people that like to talk a good talk,talk about how much they love you and think you are cool.It's like honey,you can talk a good talk,but can you get down and boogie????!??!?Can I get a witness?

Also another thing I noticed is...I did not graduate high school....I got my GED instead and took courses in different colleges here and there.-And I have some friends that have gone through college or finishing,etc.-I feel like I have learned a lot on my free time...and I am discovering/have discovered life on my own terms.REALITY.and I notice the people in my life that have gone thru school there is almost like this WALL between us.Not a big thick wall,just an invisible thin layer of gel or something...Is it just my paranoia/imagination.Probably half of it...But yeah...My question is this I wonder if some people are jealous of me? I get the vibe and I hate it.There is nothing wrong with a little green envy or whatever.But man,jealousy is WACK.

I feel also like some of my friends that claim to want to hang out with me and make plans and do stuff without me,which is cool,but don't pretend to want me to hang with you at all if you cannot be straight up.It's like you have a problem with me,tell me.We'll talk.We are adults.It never ceases to amaze me how childish some people are.No I take that back...I am not amazed anymore.It is just getting kind of old.

Long story short: If you want me as a friend.Follow up on it.Be real.Otherwise its a bullshit friendship.

Yeah maybe I am a pessimist about things,but at least I know I am not being fake to people.Sometimes I just want to slap people out of their SLEEP.

It's like pick up a copy of The Invisbles by Grant Morrison and read it now,I did that like fucking 5 years ago..Duh!

You stupid Motherfuckers!

Damn I am totally PMSing today.

Pardon moi and Kiss my ass.

XO

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