One day when I am a bit more settled I think it may be cool to be a Librarian, if I have the patience for school. I am not quite sure if I do. I am taking one class now and it's new to me, I enjoy it though. I am honestly not quite sure what career I will have in the next few years. All I know is I am going to go to school part-time, work full-time on "actual" work as well as creative projects. For instance, I want to start painting again- now that I am moving into a new home, I have room on the patio to paint in the morning if I want to.- Also, I want to finish a demo of my music before January 2004.-I think these things are possible.- I actually finished the article for the online zine I am starting to write a column for. I was pretty happy about that. I had somehow convinced myself I could not finish it, but I did. I know there is much room for growth in my writing, I think I can do it as long as I keep writing. I guess that is the hardest part. Is to make it something you do every day. I must thank my friend dreamself , for inspiring me to start a diary. Her diary is very charming- and I never thought that I could do this on a regular basis or would want to. Somehow, I began to like it and not just because some people may read my diary- simply because it feels good to type things out and have a record of my thoughts, even if it's in cyberspace.
Tomorrow I move into a new home with my boyfriend. I feel very lucky to have him in my life. He has been so patient and kind to me. So I am looking forward to starting a new thing, in a new home. It makes me feel cleansed and refreshed. The rain in Los Angeles over the weekend was a total baptism. It was needed. To quell the fires and my spirit. I think the damage of the past 10 years of my life was washed away a little bit. My Grandmother's Death. The deaths of my friends Nick and Fern. And realizing I am an adult. Growing into myself. My headspace.-It's a strange experience which lends itself to many conflicted emotions. I feel as if the emotions will even out soon enough. When they need to. Change is good. I am feeling very "I-Ching".
I have felt like I need to tap into the spiritual part of my psyche and persona. Like I have been tapped out of energy.Psychic Vampires. Perhaps I am just my own Vampire, who knows? I think I will be recharging when I live in the canyon near all the old Hollywood Ghosts, the big trees and the coyotes.
more later
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